Online shopping – the last veggie succumbs.

Fools make my food

              or

Foods make me a fool

Alas! The last veggie succumbs

Blame it on love for the local shops, being technologically challenged or sheer laziness, it took me a while to shop online for groceries. Then one day I realised the local  bhajiwala‘s been charging me 5 bucks more for tomatoes. The cheek! So I got home, decided to order groceries online.

Bad decision. 

Just as I try to understand things, the maid interrupts, she wants to know why no tomatoes in the grocery bag? Then Dad asks what’s for lunch, calls from friends and work pings, like the whole world decided to connect with me at this very moment. Then the internet goes kaput. Life saver!  I take my backpack, ignore maid and friends, rush out promising dad to return with packed lunch and ride my bike to a nearby Theobroma. There I find a quiet table, order a Cappuccino, whip out my phone, and surf on Big Basket. 

The app reads like a ‘how to for dummies’ – perfect for me. About to press ‘Kollam Rice’ when my head goes – ‘Did you call Ra?’ Ra, my sister-in-law is my go to for everything household related. 

“I do my shopping at D’Mart,” was her reply. One D’Mart download later, I am toggling two screens when Homi calls. 

“You have a Jio connection, right?”

“Yes.”

“They too have good deals, sometimes.”

Now there are three apps when I was struggling with just two. Clearly have to change tactics . Out comes my laptop.

At Theo’s, people are getting romantic by spelling out “Love Tia” on cakes while I am killing it with my baniya excel sheets. I went pro – put categories, then sub cat’s, wrote formulas multiplying kilos with price, then comparisons and comments like D’Mart’s got sunflower oil at discount, Jio out of stock while Bb is costlier by 7. Bb’s got sankarit tomatoes – don’t know what sankarit is but its just 19 bucks compared to regular tomatoes! Stuff that’d make Zuckerberg proud.

In the end, Bb wins by a hair’s whisker because :

1) They have meat.

2) it’s 39 rupees cheaper than D’Mart.

Two and a half hours later, I check out after paying 279 – my tab. I totally ignore how this had all started – the 5 rupees costlier tomatoes. Because clearly Bb tells me I have made a total savings of 895 after shopping for 3000. So I win. Yeah….

Reach home on a high. Dad opens the door.

“What’s for lunch?” he asks.

Damn!

Published by appamprawns

soni writes about children and people in controlled spaces, in his quest for appam stew. homi writes in the hope of being able to buy prawns to make patiyo.

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