I am sitting in a veranda overlooking a forest. Not any forest, but one located in the heart of a Tony neighbourhood in Bombay. This post is not about the forest. It is about the heart – or rather what the heart says to me right now.
In the vista before me, I witness a spectrum of emotions unfold – hunger, fear, deceit, love & anger. It is one swooping piece of art work, one giant canvas that is tied together with strings. They are knotted and attached to a beating heart – mine.
It may be because I watched a pair of parakeets struggle to hold onto a branch for some privacy, or the old Parsi couple one floor above us, that never tire out of fighting with each other raised arms & voices et all. It may also be the beautiful book I am reading, ‘Heart, a history’ by Sandeep Jauhar.
A big bob cat attempts a climb up an Ashoka tree as I recollect my date from last night. The last dredges of my coffee hit me bitter-sweet. R, my friend whose house I am a guest at, is busy with his daily grind, a major part of it includes taking care of an aging parent. In a while we will share pun filled jokes & make fun of each-other’s lives, an activity we both enjoy. Such activities make me feel lighter. Of late, that has been rare to find.
The heart heaves…
My heart heaves – just like the 55-year home nurse who travels for 5 hours each day back & forth to reach R’s house & help him care for his parent. From knowing that I will be starting a new venture in writing, that I will have to find a balance again. Also, that I would have to not go on dates for some time again.
I feel the forest grow within me – the branches enter at different nodes, intertwine making me one more extension of them. On them swing bobcats, parakeets & R hanging onto each other’s limbs at different points. They hold onto each other in desperation as elements float around them – sleep medication, train passes, rotting carcass, sexual grunts. And above all is the Thump-thump sound. When we listen closer as one collective, we hear –