Sneha: Watch what I eat

Just got my health report – cholesterol – bad, sugar – borderline, low blood pressure, the works.

Diagnosis – watch it.

She: “Let’s have lunch.”

Me: “No, no, Have to watch what I eat and exercise.”

She: “Then let’s do simple South Indian khana.”

Me: “Good – let’s go to Sneha.”

We missed the place, almost. But then my eyes fell on the typical ambience that small south Indian restaurants share – sad reception counter (manned by quirky manager), table-chairs cheek to cheek and steel cutlery. Sneha’s – the queen of small southie joints in Mahim.

We head in, corner a table. The waiter approaches, we take in each other somewhat hesitant. Till I talk to him in Malayalam. And how things change! Suddenly, he’s spilling out entire menus, meal and my meat options. Only to have his spirt curbed when I tell him can’t have fried, oily, or masala stuff.  She takes charge – asks for veg options. 

His face goes – Really?

He rattles off breakfast options – the regular ‘dosa-idli & sambhar’ combos. She stares at him. 

Really?

I take charge – tell him to get sada dosa and kadala (chick pea) curry. She likes it, he nods a hmmn. 

She interrupts again – obviously not happy. A short interrogative session later, we decide along with the earlier order we go for Kerala (fat brown) rice and thoran, a coconut-based veggie dish with cabbage and French beans. To me, instead of yum they all sound glum. 

Seeing my weepy face she relents – lets me have one Surmai fried-fish piece. 

The food arrives. We dig in. The kadala curry is the highlight. But there’s not enough. She gets a call, has to take it. That’s when my man sneaks in a free fish curry to me. Mallu-Mally bhai bhai! 😊 

The curry is the awesome tangy tomato twister with bits of fish in it.! My brain goes – if the curry is such, then the fish will be!!!

She’s still busy. “Psst, Ek surmai curry”. I sneak the order to the older waiter passing by. One look in my eye, he gets the scene. Off he goes. 

I eat slow – real S.L.O.W. And I watch. Other denizens, men seeking a meal, couples, local traders – ordering, discussing, sharing – the food bits and everything in between.  

The fish curry arrives, she’s still on the phone – her eyes bulge. I ignore and help myself. 

She puts away the phone. I smile in guilt – when the old waiter appears again. 

“How was the curry?”

She smiles. Pure ice. I oblige – “Good, but spicy.” 

“Why don’t you try the banana fritters?” the asks.  

I looked at her. She sighed. “Alright – but that’s it”. 

He brings it. We enjoy. 

We walk out. 

I go – “Should we get a taxi?”

Nope. We are walking.

She throws it back at my face. “Watch what you eat and exercise. Remember.”

 Damn!